I’d like to say this was the end of it
but that’s just never true — it must be
that triumph is overwhelmed by trust, and we
have to be the ones that learn to let go
of — this is what must be said.
Why we stall, and try not to hurt each other,
sometimes simultaneously — I’d like to
really know whether this is the best
part coming up or if it evens out like
both sides of an equation.
Truthfully I was never told to do
anything, although arguably I was made to
think in a cerebral way about what I wanted
by which I mean not via the route in which
I’d think about my feelings. If my feelings
are not important to you — and not classifiable
as an area of pursuit — we ask each other why
this is in an aimless, hopelessly hopeful kind
or way, trying to get other people to be who
we want as if it is something that can be won,
can be made to be. And when predictably this
is difficult as would be seeming as it is beyond the scope
of a reasonable outcome — it’s a mystery why
this continues, repeats.
Then again it’s not clear what anyone truly wants.
I kind of tend to believe this — that no one
asks for anything. Not much anyway — given how much
is contained in the world, how much exists,