I’d always known

I’d always known I was a loser. It was not a question, but it was questionable to hang too intently on that single sentiment. I’d always suspected this would not be something that would change, that it would demand a lot of work. It was okay, then, for me to say something about it. I think I was crushed at first sight by how beautiful you were. I was disappointed, even — I had wanted to be charmed into liking you. I think it was my ego talking when I assumed that I was the better person, when I assumed I had understood everything.

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